Gorgonzola Honey Bruschetta and Giada de Laurentiis' Boobs

October 1, 2008

 

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I copied this recipe from a certain someone whose breasts I find extremely distracting. I was lucky to pay attention enough during her show to recall the essential details of this extremely basic dish, which involves just 5 steps: cutting a baguette, sprinkling it with olive oil, laying down gorgonzola cheese, drizzling it with honey and toasting for a few minutes. The entire time I was doing this, I couldn' t stop thinking about Giada' s cleavage and the moaning sound she makes every time she takes a bit of her creations. Here' s a link to her instructions—I don' t even think these warrant the term “recipe.”I served these with mussels in white wine sauce along with regular baguette for dipping. This “bruschettaâ€�…please try to imagine me speaking this with a fake Italian accent as I bust out of my blouse…has some serious umami: chewy, crisp, sweet, crunchy, savory and a little bit tart from the cheese. It' s a great, simple way to achieve complex texture and flavor. But be warned: even if you make these and can add one more excellent dish to your repertoire, don' t expect to come away with too many of Giada' s assets. Is it possible that Giada de Lauren-tits stuffs her bra with blue cheese?

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